Who's feelings are these anyway?

Something is different today, and it was yesterday also. I made peace with a decision that may determine the rest of my life: moving to a different place in the world. My battle, as i imagine most people's battles are, is internal. How do we really separate ourselves from ourselves long enough to see the effect we are having on other people? I don't want to see my effect on others. I'm scared of the things i've done and much more terrified of the things i haven't done. Princess says that we have lived a life of fear. That fear has gobbled up our dreams, hopes and may now be looking to have our future for dessert. Well.. at least that's my interpretation of the writing. Briefly, i have to say that anyone going thru any type of life difficulty should really read her story at chasingdragonsaway.com Her life is a beautiful tragedy and some of the stories are dark, but all are written from another world.. anyways, if you find yourself looking for perspective in life, you will find a lot at that website! ps. there are some funny ones in there too like the "what would jesus do, apparently flip me off!" heh heh, if you're intelligent you will really like the blog :) alright, my mind is easily distracted i suppose, so to continue: living life in fear. what do we fear? Being alone, not being loved or accepted by another, not finding our reason or purpose? I fear more than i should and more than i talk about. I fear being discovered as if i'm some sort of fake person that cares about nothing and noone save myself. The thought makes me want to puke, but maybe that's who i am. I fear that i'll always be this way and the people around me will suffer because of it. I fear that if i keep saying stuff i fear that i will fear more and get trapped in a fear-cycle of fearing.. there's a saying in texas "you fool me once.." no wait, "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself!!" I'm in love. following that feeling edges the fear away a little :) something today was different, but not entirely new.. i watched an episode of intervention (because i dwell on fear and dramatic situations rather than reality) and found myself inside a new, weird emotion. The side effect of this emotion was that i cried like a little baby and was putting my fists in the air, like you might do when someone finishes a race first.. i dunno, maybe like if your favorite nascar driver won? or your team scored a touchdown? this isn't the strange part, feeling part of someone else's success.. the strange part is the crying.. i've always felt sad when i cry, which isn't very often anyways. today i was excited, proud.. i kept saying yes in a very small voice. this is strange to me, but it all happened at the moment Meghan said she was willing to go to the treatment. I'm still very excited and proud, i don't even know this person! Well, it looks like i've just written about myself again, but maybe starting with ourselves is what we need to do to help others feel better :) I'm glad for today and i'm glad for the amazing things i have in my life that inspired me to write for the first time in.. months? year? hopefully more soon :) :)