Porn vs Life (ch. 2)

Today i received an email from "ChristianMingle.com".  How did I end up on this email list?  As a married man, i would like to present my excuses as follows:

1) I am not (and to my knowledge never have been) Christian. So this would preclude any google-related activity involving said religion.

2) I don't imagine there are many pop-ups for "meet hot christian singles now".. are there? Maybe they are heated by an external, subterranean source?  Maybe an 11th commandment is in order for the internet?

3) Granted that i am a man of my word and have not personally signed up for this service, would it be possible for good christians to acquire my personal information and/or email address from a 3rd party service? possibly one who profits from porn websites?

Not much insight today, as my research continues i hope to find that this is not all my doing.. but may discover that signing up for a website lead me here in the first place. I promise that i will share information as i find it and continue to hope that others stay away from these websites.. or at least change your information once and while.

the internet is not as secure as we think! please be cautious out there and as always please contact me with your experiences :)

Porn vs Life

The following is a cut/copy conversation i had with a "live help/support" agent to determine why i'm still receiving tons of pornographic dating site ads (almost) daily! If you've ever experienced anything like this, i highly recommend putting more info out there online so the truth will be known (by summing up the pieces).





Thanks for reading, here goes:


(in reference to 2 emails received in the same day)
Please wait for a site operator to respond.
You are now chatting with 'LiveSupport'


LiveSupport: Hello, how may I help you today?

ded_spyder@yahoo.com: hi, i want to know how this account was set up
ded_spyder@yahoo.com: i did not request a ulust account, is it part of another site?

LiveSupport: Just a moment please, while I look that up.

ded_spyder@yahoo.com: thanks

LiveSupport: I dont see any membership registered under your email.We are not accpeting free membership from your country so maybe someone created an account underyour email

LiveSupport: account is already been removed


ded_spyder@yahoo.com: i don't understand, how did i receive emails today from ulust then?

ded_spyder@yahoo.com: i haven't paid, or subscribed..

ded_spyder@yahoo.com: can you look up all the info on my email: ded_spyder@yahoo.com

ded_spyder@yahoo.com: when and how was this account set up?

LiveSupport: we no longer have recordsof your account since it's removed by the site right after the account was set up

ded_spyder@yahoo.com: when was that?

ded_spyder@yahoo.com: and why do i still get these fucking emails! you will tell me gypsy!

LiveSupport: please forward the spams that you are getting to csr4@activesitesupport.com so we can further investigate who is sending you emails. thank you

ded_spyder@yahoo.com: i hope you all burn, internet scum

ded_spyder@yahoo.com: thank you for removing me from email however


Always glad to correspond with such scholarly individuals :) I think i will make this an on-going post for those of you who might also be plagued by spam ads. I'll try to post solutions and/or progress as often as possible. Please please send me any ideas, stories you have about your struggles or successes deleting internet pornography from your computer and from your life! I've heard many stories of this topic driving a wedge between spouses and think there should be support and education on how to get rid of it! More to follow..

PS: if a website keeps harassing you, please visit the following link and take 2-3 minutes to report them!

https://complaint.ic3.gov/ctf.aspx

lonely island

Hawaii.. the island of love. On TV shows and postcards it always looks amazing, exotic.. that picture of the ocean that people stare at daily for 7 months on the cork board of their office cubicle, until they can save enough vacation time to fly here and forget the stress of civilization.

The plane landed at night.. bright beaches and blue waters were shrouded in darkness. Beauty existed still, but was not visible. The airport functioned slowly, time creeping by with a depressed feeling of a lazy night shift. Additionally, it seems that whoever designed this terminal may have spent more time surfing than making transportation and transitions logical for the rest of us. Mild frustrations add to the panicked feeling of having made a wrong decision at the last airport. Why don't our lives happen like in the movies? why didn't i run off the airplane and show her how much she means to me?  maybe too much responsibility.. maybe reality is different.. maybe there is too much "maybe" and not enough "yes".  I haven't prayed in a while, nor do i truthfully believe in god, but as i sit, sneaking a coffee and cigarette in a dim corner of a multi-level parking lot,  i quietly beg the powers that be for things to just work out ok.. this doesn't seem real..

This time is worse than last. I can feel my chest tighten as an invisible cord is stretched further with each mile i travel away from my wife. Why does it hurt more now? We did 2-3 months passably during our first separation and that was going into the trip blind. Now i've experienced life apart and made it work, yet suffer more. It doesn't make sense. Such ignorance, yet i think i know exactly what is wrong and how to fix it. I left without trying again.

The first text redefines our virtual relationship. Both reassuring and devastating, i try to imagine what is happening in las vegas.. and smile momentarily at the thought of being there :)  maybe things won't be so bad after all.. could there be a way to meditate myself into a zone of remembering what it is like to be home.. hypnotize.. even as i sit and think this post is rambling, i think that there seems to be some kind of progress.. things seemed a little better than they were before.. i know that. Patience, understanding, practice, communication..

as i find somewhere to curl up and set my alarm for the next flight, i dream of her. she will be my island, my vacation..