Today i stumbled across a slew of personal emails i sent over the last few years. Most were from craigslist and solicited only the minimal response for "hooking up" or meeting a woman online. As i scrolled thru hundreds of emails i began to notice that my method was "send 100 emails and hope for one response". Most of the emails were short and lacked any real content, simply stating "are you real" or "what's up". The response i was looking for was sex, at no cost or effort. I wasn't willing to put in the time to get to know someone and let a relationship develop. I was interested in instant gratification on my terms and shunned others ideas, ie. once i scoffed at a woman for wanting to have an 'financial arrangement', when in fact i was exhibiting the same behavior (maybe with opposite intentions).
All my life i had believed that this behavior was acceptable and refused to acknowledge that i may actually be degrading and/or hurting another person. Now i can't help but wonder how i've caused people to feel about themselves. Receiving a message like "that's ok, but how do you look like with your clothes off" is abnormally shallow and i'm unsure of what effect it may have, as i don't think anyone has ever treated me this way. Maybe if i understood how others have been affected by this type of behavior i can understand what i've done more completely.
please take the time to share any experience you've had (in dating, marriage, or other social settings) in which you have wronged or been wronged by another person. Also i would like to thank those closest to me for offering a way to see my actions thru the eyes of others.
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