My depression, as may be the case for others, is based on feelings of hopelessness and self pity. Today I came to the conclusion that my depression is selfish. Believe it or not, accepting a depressed feeling as a nourishment of our own ego and self-serving act can actually help us snap out of it! Some thoughts on the topic:
Inspiration comes in many forms. I think 3 are vital to success: 1) another person 2) things we enjoy or once enjoyed (ie. hobbies, goals, dreams) 3) environment
1) My fastest, most effective and potent solution to feeling down is recognizing a positive within another person. Most of us can think of that one person that can get us to smile even when we don't want to :) Sometimes just thinking about that person can be enough! Allowing ourselves a window into someone else's life to view something good can break a cycle of narcissistic thought. The momentary lapse of inward thought is a breath of fresh air, allowing me to vicariously appreciate life through another's perspective. This is the most important step, as thinking about myself only perpetuates solitude and perceived lack of options.
Appreciating the work or passion another person has can also be a very strong source of purpose. When I felt a loss of purpose in my life I looked outwardly. This is a double edged sword however. For example listening to sad music can amplify depression. I remember a boss i had once told me of his experience in counseling. The clinical diagnosis was simple: "stop listening to pink floyd". Apparently the music was depressing him and allowing him to maintain a cycle of inward, negative thought. So finding a truly positive external source can be tricky, but vital to a successful first step. Recently i have gravitated towards the inspirational writings found in online blogs. ie. www.chasingdragonsaway.com
The authors have been so truthful and insightful in their passages that i felt new ambition to seek the truths of life within myself, as they had. After coming full circle i realized that i had not pulled myself out of a low by myself, but climbed a ladder (provided to me) to reach my own goals. This form of support by another person is the building block of developing a sense of purpose for everything we do with our lives.
2) For a long time all of my hobbies and interests seemed hollow without an audience. Hobbies are supposed to be things we do for ourselves, but somehow i needed someone to recognize me in order to feel good about what i was doing. After finding support in another, remembering what we used to enjoy can be the next solid step of finding that kind of happiness we had as children, when we used to run for no reason or chase each other around, ignoring societal perception.. creating our own rules and living, almost completely in the moment. The problem with my adult life is that i am constantly concerned about the future, neglecting the present and forgetful of the past.
Today i woke up in a sea of self-pity, seeking to avoid the truth involved in confronting how i had wronged (or simply not cared about) most of the people in my life. A brief thought of someone else occurred to me, leading me to an inspirational article and the next thing ya know, i was riding down the street on a bicycle. The fresh air and sunlight opened a floodgate of childhood memories that reminded me: i used to mountain bike, this was one of my hobbies. A world of positive emotion and hope was attached to the simple exertion and accomplishment of making it to the top of a hill.. looking down on scenery, feeling alive! Too often I forget how good the simple things of life are, especially when i close my eyes to them.
3) Fundamentally, the weather can determine what kind of day I'll have. However, I've spent many nice days inside 4 walls, preventing myself from enjoying air, sunlight, water and a million other tangible senses that life has to offer. After I've found inspiration and rediscovered what makes me feel good about myself, finding a nice environment goes a long way to refuel my passion for the day. Waking up early in the morning has always been an exciting, though difficult, time for thought and action. The beginning of the day seems most hopeful! Anything is possible at 0600 in the morning with a full day open and available :) Getting to this environment is more than 1/2 the battle. Once there, positive thoughts and actions usually seem to flow freely and naturally.. as if i had done them before, or as if i were tracing the actions of my life's picture over an outline i could see thru the paper. without getting involved in destiny, i'll say that environment can also encompass the people and places around us. By surrounding myself with only positive (and good weather!), everything is easier... oversimplification, but have to wrap this up!
Before i thought about these 3 forms of inspiration, i would tell myself that repetition of a positive action would eventually lift anyone out of depression. I still think this can be effective, ie. working out, volunteering, attending social gatherings, keeping in contact with family/friends, etc. Maybe the topic of another post.
For today, thank you to those that offer hope. You never know how far simple message might go or how many lives may be illuminated by one positive thought :) We are all in this together and i hope that i can pull my weight, as i've been pulled by others through 'hard times'. Thank you so much again to those that provide us tools and solutions.. you are my meaning and you give me purpose!
- looking forward again :D
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